Friday, January 6, 2012

Don't pee on me and tell me that it's raining....

One of my very few (okay, okay..I have more than a few) pet peeves in life is being lied to…or deliberately misled, or manipulated or B.S.’d. I don’t think any of us like it. It makes us feel a little dirty and not in a good way. I have a B.S. meter that is very sensitive and reacts quite quickly and accurately around even small, seemingly innocuous piles of steer manure. Oftentimes, when listening to a conversation, I gauge the B.S. factor of the exchange. A high B.S. factor sometimes results in raucous laughter and snorting coffee out of my nose…that is, until I realize they were serious. Then I get peeved.

Why this sudden interest in B.S.? I actually got thinking about it after reading the blog post, “This Post is Filled With Bullshit” by Erika Napoletano on her blog RedheadWriting. NOTE: This gal is funny and smart and yes….you should also follow her on twitter. She shares my dislike of thinking inside/outside/underneath the so called “box” and plus…she uses pretty colours on her blog and rumour has that she might be giving away ponies….

I believe that my sensitivity to B.S. came from my upbringing. Yes….I am going to blame my parents for something else. It started with “Are we almost there?” to which they responded, “only a few more miles”. Hours later (no…not very perceptive at that age), I would realize that my parents were lying and that Hell No! we were not almost there yet.

More from my parents:

“You haven’t stopped growing yet honey…give it time” (nope! I peaked at 5’1” – please bear in mind that this advice was coming from my 5’8” father and 5’2” mother)

“Winning isn’t everything” (yes….it is)

“If you cross your eyes, they will stay that way” (mostly a lie, except for my cousin Kevin…he has one looking at you and one looking for you)

Later in life came, “Do these palazzo pants make me look fat?” and the answer would always be, “No! Of course they don’t”. But in fact….the palazzo pants were not a good fit for a 5 foot tall, short legged gal. Same deal for the tight perm (I looked more like Bob Ross than Diana Ross), the Dirndl skirt and my fascination with corduroy vests.

All of these life experiences assisted me in developing my B.S. meter and I feel that now in my 47th year it is pretty much ninja level in its accuracy. Basically….I can smell it a mile/kilometer away.

Is honesty the best policy? In business, I “honestly” believe that it is. Please do not tell me over the phone that the hall will hold 250 people when it clearly won’t; don’t tell me that something will be delivered the next day knowing that it is a logistical impossibility; please do not over-promise and then under-deliver; basically……please do not intentionally disappoint me. Why? It makes me sad and there is a distinct possibility that a puppy/fairy/unicorn/dolphin might die… you really want that on your conscience?

So…although steer manure makes for good fertilizer, (you should keep it handy for social occasions, with family and friends and hey….even blog posts), it won’t help a professional relationship grow.

My wish for 2012? Less crap


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